College Mascots On National Strike, Bitter Over Anti-Mask Game Goers


HAYDEN, ID — Wham, bam, thank you MA’AM! Newly formed organization, Mascots Against Anti-Maskers (MA’AM), went on strike this week, protesting the leniency toward mask wearing at college sporting events.

Geoffrey Goldbug, chicken mascot for the Little Idaho College Women’s Basketball Team (the Chicks), told us, “The people who want to see me running around for hours in this hot, disgusting suit are the same people who refuse to wear a mask during the pandemic. The other day someone called me a sheeple for wearing my mask in the grocery store. I’m over it. I just want to yell at them, ‘Be grateful for your little paper mask. It’s better than what I have to wear!’”

Over 32 college mascots have joined the movement, complaining that the reversed expectations are hypocritical and unfair.

Their two demands are simple: 1) Follow and enforce CDC guidelines to help slow the spread of COVID-19 and 2) Quit yer complainin’!

Written by

Jan Miller (she/her)

She is a former child/future ghost and staff writer for Really Late Night.


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